PETE & BAS – Golf (feat. Norman Pain)

Pete & Bas are a British rap duo formed by men in their 70s. They are based in London, and were formed in 2017. They are notable for the songs “The Old Estate”, “Dents in a Peugeot”, and their debut single, “Shut Ya Mouth”.

’84 disrespect, kicked his door
Grabbed the cash from bedside draw
And the little stash under the bedroom floorboard
See his uncle George
Built like a brick and I thank the Lord (Jesus)
I weren’t fat back in the day
So I could move fast when it come to crunch

’89 Sunday lunch, pint, fag, plate full of munch
Fist full of rings, pricey punch
It ain’t Pimms o’clock when a bloke gets slumped
Out in cunch
’91 had a big old bando
Two Guard dogs, Dave and his Rambo
He’s in the can like Rubicon mango

Ball and chain, Normie walked free but he lost his brain
’92 villa in Spain
Travelling Europe, private planes
Time flies
’95 cut those ties
Got a mate who works in the bakers
Pull out the mash and I’ll make you a pie (Sweeney)

’96 Stan got nicked, found his stash
In the back of the brand-new motor
Car chase and the whole thing crashed
Collecting debts
Wars with the London Met
’98 case got blown
I went home and I cried in bed (trust me)

Wanna talk about cases
Gotta hold my peace
Been caught red-handed
Never ran from the bleeding police
I drove that motor
The Peugeot with the dented doors
Now I’m chauffeured
Only drive on the golfing course

Carb on the kitchen counter, powder
Dropped in a pot, got spun like hands on the wheel of the Beamer
Two blocks in when an opp got clocked
Rolled so many boys in a fag it’s mental
Should have been paid by Benson and Hedge

Try taking the food from my plate
And end up left with a plate in your head
Top stays left down so they know who’s driving
Opp blocks get shot down in the daylight
Perfect timing
Wife’s done cooking the batch and the nits wanna try this food

Done so many days up country
Wife sent over some home cooked meals
That’s fresh off the stove
Straight down to the man’s bare hands, it’s an uncooked deal

Can’t stop ‘cause the line keeps pinging
The nits keep bringing the paper
Went down Spoons on a Friday
Came home Monday, three days later

What do you know about sticks?
What do you know about lasers?
What do you know about punching a fed off a horse
And getting tasered?

I don’t really care what people say
I don’t really watch what them lot do (nah)
Still I gotta stick to the cash like glue
I’m a big Sean Paul fan too

Wanna talk about cases
Gotta hold my peace
Been caught red-handed
Never ran from the bleeding police
I drove that motor
The Peugeot with the dented doors
Now I’m chauffeured
Only drive on the golfing course

Bazooka kicked his face then I smashed his brain
And I broke his back (muppet)
I took his phone and then switched provider and gave it back
I ripped his balls off for a quick game of hacky-sack
Smash and grab
Birkin bag
When I flipped them packs and I make that cash

I was locked in a cell and I took those Ls to hell and back (nothing)
I can’t see nowt
In a blind rage when I fight ten man (‘av him)
Try jacking the lad, throwing their fists and I’m throwing ‘em back
Dumping the dough in a bag
Jump in a cab and I’m off to my Dad’s

This place ain’t friendly, it’s all full of goons and ghosts
Used to roll with my family, licked off the food like a Sunday roast
But they’re all dead now
And I pray they rest in peace (RIP)
And when I find that twat
He’ll get carved up like a piece of meat (like a piece of meat)

PTSD I’ve been through the pain and the hardest times
Now I’ve got no feelings, racked ketamine like county lines
And I might take time
When I see that handsome woman (hello!)
Miss with the finest legs and the sweetest back and the largest bosom

Wanna talk about cases
Gotta hold my peace
Been caught red-handed
Never ran from the bleeding police
I drove that motor
The Peugeot with the dented doors
Now I’m chauffeured
Only drive on the golfing course